Jingle Poetry Rally Awards for Ghost Town
ghost town
small, still voice of wind,
tossing my tumbleweed-thoughts
that roll through a ghost town.
here, my safety has been
abandoned to the rats and mice
that hide from revelation,
distrusting that light
so much that they will not stay
and visit. the locks and guns
have been jammed by mud-caked
memories of injustice,
in the sheriff’s office.
the hollow-hallow notes of the
player-piano silent
except for the collapsing
frame that drops pieces of itself
crashing onto the discordant keys,
creating a nightmare sound of
happiness twisted into grief,
twisted into a mockery of joy,
in the saloon.
the telegraph does not speak
into the future, the wires
have frayed and disconnected
from the source of consolation,
reality has dissolved letters of love
or news of the war and the
beloved sears & roebuck catalog,
in the post-office.
the ghost town disgusts me.
especially when the wind is
blowing and changing all that
i know into something unknown
ripping the roof apart and causing
the cacophony of noises to come
in from all directions telling
me, what? untrustworthy voice!
so small and still or
so big and booming
telling me to tear the walls apart
bare-handed until my fingers
become bloody stubs and
yet you insist that i see you,
listen to you, the wind destroying
the small community of barn owls
and bats that i have built in my
ghost town. i do not want to hear
you. the owls and bats are my
saving grace.
Terri Stewart, Dec. 2010
Agreement 4 Thursday Poets Rally Week 35 Participants
Thursday Poets Rally Week 35 (December 16-22)
Note: this musing was brought on by contemplating what it means to be spiritual and to have had experiences of mental illness. The desire to listen to an inner voice, an outer voice, any voice! is held in tension with a deep distrust of voices. What language do we put around spiritual talk (in an inter-faith community) when voice is compromised? I think this led to the answer…owls and bats. The sustainers.
First, the words: “the hollow-hallow notes of the
player-piano” is a brilliant phrase.
This meditation caught my manic depressive mind and held it. I recognized the haunting, the scurrying creatures, as things I see in my own mind. This should be submitted to NAMI for possible publication, or to Awakenings Review.
Amy Barlow Liberatore
Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback.
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I totally enjoyed it. I gave it a whole set of meaning lol. I saw it as a person who is just tired and lost, happily staying in her own mind and reality keeps seeping in, people and commitments begging to come out of that state but the person is unwilling lol
Thanks for the additional note. I do believe that it can be read in different ways as well. I TOTALLY ENJOYED THE READ. THANK YOU, L.
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2010/12/16/onward-to-oblivion/
Perhaps I should hide the note!
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Nice thoughts quoted with beautiful words
Here’s mine poetry
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/love-is/
!! Happy Rally !!
lovely word painting..
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This was a good read. I was a bit fearful at the end. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. I really like this poem filled with sounds and pictures of sounds and echoing questions. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, I really really enjoyed this. After reading your description on what it is about, I was left even more in awe. Great work! Sometimes I feel that other voices bring on insanity, rather than bringing my state of mind to a certain calm.
I realate to the idea of other voices bringing on the insanity! That’s pretty much how I feel about news and politics… Although I am strangely attracted to them. But that is another write for another day!
“here, my safety has been
abandoned to the rats and mice
that hide from revelation”
ghost town for sure
This is just excellent. And I’m not saying that just because we share a last name/clan
I loved your word choices. Anyone who can use cacophony in an alliteration is alright in my books! Keep on writing.
A great write, I liked the dark imagery that flooded my mind and the depth of the piece
Loved this poem the opening lines really engaged my attention:
small, still voice of wind,
tossing my tumbleweed-thoughts
that roll through a ghost town.
Thank you for sharing.
“tossing my tumbleweed-thoughts,” that is such a good way to discribe them, and the rest of the poem is also very good. Haunting!
I also read it not as mental illness, but as a struggle one has with oneself. It was captivating.
I suppose that anything that provides a surplus of meaning is a good thing! Thanks.
I love the imagery used in this poem as it resounds with my views of the world, especially in my sleepless nights. This poem strikes accord with my life and causes me to see things on a grander scale than my usual musings of my mind (normally a house not a town). Great poem.
The Lonely Recluse.
What an eerie picture you paint with your words. Reading your note on mental illness made me have to read the poem again and see it in a different light. Thank you for sharing!
http://mysticmarleei.wordpress.com/2010/12/16/you/
I live in Nevada, a place of many ghost towns. Taken in a purely literal way, this poem is perfect–so descriptive of the reality you are speaking to. Ramp it up to the level of spiritual desolation, it’s brilliant. Going back to read it over now.
whew!!!
long one!!
and i still can’t take it all in
but good effort
I felt like a strange visitor, sauntering around like outlaw in your mind. Well done.
http://ukeepwalkingforward.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/we-hate/
~Drew
Your words were so descriptive that I walked in the town as I was reading. I intuitively even felt the wind before I read it in your next lines. As a child I remember being fascinated by player pianos.
The imagery of a ghost town and all the feelings it congures up you brillantly played with here. I’ve been to a real ghost town and you nailed it. I have felt like I belonged or wanted to be in a ghost town and you nailed that too. Great job
I loved every word
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spooky and chilling definitely my kind of poem, great work!
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those small voices build to a cataclysm, good stuff
The voices are also a cacophany!
I love the phrase of “tumbleweed thoughts”… I have had those thoughts, too.
I am grateful I found you through Poets Rally today!
i felt like i was emotionally transported to an actual ghost town. excellent poem.
A well crafted poem. It reminded me of a recent trip I made to a small town and I had thought of it as a ghost town.
Thank you for dropping by my blog.
Nice to meet a good poet like u..u have same ideas I have..keep it up..:)
Great base for inspiration and beautiful resulting creation.
wow.. your words actually take me there. the narration is beautiful
I love your use of language here– nicely done!
Which voice to listen to indeed. Twisted and darkly moving. I loved the imagery. Hauntingly written.
Thanks for posting the awards.
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